Category Archives: Growing Pains

10 Things

27 Monday Oct 2014

Posted by in Growing Pains, Inspirational Thoughts, Life in Africa, Trials to Triumph

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images-1Today my husband, Jerry, challenged me to list 10 things for which I am Thankful. It really puts things in perspective. Here goes:

1. Thankful for the Morning

Each day is a new day, with a new story to write.

2. Thankful for my 4 Children

Four blessings, each unique, healthy, full of purpose and life. Though on their own journey, are not completely off the rails!

3. Thankful for my home.

Beyond my wildest dreams, such a haven in the midst of wildlife, and river view that brings tranquility of soul.

4. Thankful for My Husband

A man who fears God, loves God and loves me. And a bonus-he doesn’t dominate the TV with sports. He’s just not into it.

So, the occasional car show is perfectly bearable!

5. Thankful for the joy of seeing fruit from our labors in the lives of people. Souls whose lives have been lifted and helped in practical ways.

Children who grew up and now have children and are living on purpose for Christ.

6. Thankful for my Mother in Law and the 5 month journey we have shared. The furnace of affliction has been tough.

God is more concerned with my heart condition than my comfort. It has been revelational to me to be the vessel through which God’s love has been poured out to her.

7. Thankful, even proud to be called a Missionary, and to be Christ’s extension of peace and reconciliation in this world.

8. Equally thankful for giving me the grace to be away from my earthly family in Texas all these years.

Longing and sadness is replaced by joy, knowing who they all have become and quality times when I do see them.

9. Thankful for the brave people in my life who cheer me on to be a better person and for those who just cheer me on in the good times and the bad.

10. Thankful for Social Media-Skype, Facebook, Twitter, What’s App, etc.

For the seconds and not months to connect with people. It makes the world accessible to me from my life here, in Northern Botswana, unlike missionaries of old who packed their belongings in the coffin in which they would be buried and had only mail by ships to make contact with their loved ones.

I want to extend this exercise to anyone else who might need a reminder that the good in our lives far outweighs the stormy times.

**Photo compliments of myheartmyhandsasl

What Is The meaning Of Life?

23 Thursday Oct 2014

Posted by in Growing Pains, Life in Africa, Our Family, The Call

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meaningoflifeI asked this question on my Facebook wall this week and had some great and, yet some predictable answers from Christians. My other friends were mostly quiet, other than a joke or two. I guess I was asking myself that question, not wanting to be predictable. When circumstances in life become overwhelming and you have to just keep going, but eventually, this question seems to surface in some way or another.

Life is so much more than yesterday. Tomorrow has not yet come. What I have is now. I am thankful for all my yesterdays because without them, I wouldn’t be what I am today. The losses and gains of yesterday- all make this moment possible.

And in this moment, I feel profound loneliness. Living so far from my family al these years in Africa, has created a chasm greater and longer than I could have imagined. It is a longing that has never left me. Yet, I have been given the riches of the most special kind of life, family, and of friendship. People have reached out to us. in times of crisis, in times of joy, and in times of just living life. Families are complex things. Does anyone ever really have their expectations met through family members?  From Generations before and those to follow, unwanted records are kept of our inconstancies and failures. Heart wounds sometimes never heal and are most raw when felt by a close loved one. To me, it has been part of the “calling”, to leave all and follow where God leads. We did that, but there has been a price, a price we were willing to make. The cost has been great, not only to me, but to my mother, father, sister and brother. Not to mention, the multitude of extended relatives I hold dear, including a 97 year old grandma in Texas! I love them and I miss them a lot of the time. I long for that phone call for no reason, that quick “pop-in” surprise visit.

As a Christian, I also have a family that surpasses my own genetic connections, though treasured and loved. I also have people in my life that don’t believe like me, but they have been there for me and their hearts are good. Better sometimes than those who carry the title of Christian. Of course, I want all my friends to know God like I know Him, feel His love like I have. To really know what it is to have a purpose in this life that outlives us.

If I figure it out, I will sure let you know! As I write, my house is quiet. It has turned into another day by the clock striking 12. Besides the noise of the Eland walking around the fence, the hippo grunting as he grazes in the grass nearby, and the sound of the jet’s night flight overhead on its way to Joburg, and the humming of my fan that I need to lull me to sleep, I know this one thing. I may feel lonely, but I am not alone. I may miss my loved ones, but they are still my loved ones. I may not know the direction my 4 children will take, but I do know that they have an imperfect family, but they have a family that loves them and is there for them in their parents. I would move heaven and earth to be there for my kids. They will never be able to say otherwise. As my boys once watched Anne of Green Gables and saw the fiery red-headed Meagan Follows in a rage for her cause and her mistakes, they all looked at each other and said, “Oh my gosh, that’s our mom!” Between being called Scarlet O’Hara for my fiery temper and Lucille Ball for the messes I find myself in, I think at one point, I might need some help! Well, I have received lots of it from lots of people through the years. In the lonely times, I just have to remember those are the very people who were there for me. Family, friends, acquaintances and perfect strangers. Through a house fire, stage 4 cancer in my husband, kids’ crises time and again, I have never been alone. God is so real, so present and you know what? He has loved me and been there for me-through-you, the people in my life. He wraps His great arms of love around me when I need it most, through a smile, a hug, a special note.

8dc32804-3e4e-4da4-a7dd-ff45d8e9689dI am grateful for you. Grateful for the kindness expressed through each “like”, each comment, each thought. Perhaps I have scratched the surface as the clock strikes 12 in the darkness of my room. I don’t feel so alone now. Life without others in it, is no life at all. Go and find someone today who you can touch with whatever you find yourself able to give. I promise you, it not only feels good, it feels great! It abolishes loneliness and ushers in a connection with another human being and even, God. He is so creative to love us through others. Be that other today. And after you do-come back and share it with me, will you? People need to know how to do it-its simple-so DO IT!

*Photos from Photobucket

Wearing Pajamas To Church

04 Saturday Oct 2014

Posted by in Growing Pains, Inspirational Thoughts, Life in Africa

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pulling-my-hair-outCaring for a mother-in-law who was once an independent, self-sufficient individual was unexpected, at this stage in my life, to say the least. It started with a knee surgery and now, 4 months later and 4 surgeries later, I find myself in Pretoria, South Africa attending to her at every visit allowed in the High Care Unit. Love is being tested and leaves feelings of guilt when a test is failed.

“There is nothing on this planet quite so toxic as guilt.”  Caring for a family member with Alzheimer’s disease is no joke. It reminds me of popcorn, one of my favorite foods. Great finished product, but the grease gets hot and if the lid isn’t on the pan, grease will fly and you will get burned! Two women. Two wills. One to keep the other one safe-no matter what. Ruth and Naomi-sort of, in a very unromantic way. The raw stuff of life. Literally. From a knee surgery to give her a new lease on life, followed by a blocked colon that burst in the middle of nowhere in Africa, miracle survival, and a bag to catch-you know what. 2 months of that and this week it got reconnected! That part is going to work again, but I can honestly say, along with my dutiful, devoted friend Michelle, who helped me, I was knee deep in !@#*! The aroma was anything but savory.

The one certainty through all of this is the few Sunday mornings when we were at home over the last few months. No matter what, our mom would be well enough to go to church. It was a chore. I bought some beautiful new outfits for her before her knee surgery. I also bought some warm Pajamas for the recovery time in hospital. There was one pair that was a favorite. Much to my surprise, the outfit I had picked out to wear was put aside and I was informed she was going “casual”. I came in to administer the morning meds to find her fully dressed in the favorite PJ’s! Should I let her go, or preserve her dignity, even if unappreciated at the time? A forced, “nice” outfit was imposed and wills clashed. I won. Sometimes the popcorn gets burned. The smell hangs around for a while. But oh, the joy to taste buds is the warm, salty taste of perfect popcorn! The process in the pan is intense-but if we stick with it, there are moments of delight.

Time is not on our side. The past 4 months have proven that. I hope I can get a few good batches of popcorn and heck, if she has to wear pi’s to church to be happy, why not?

The day my life changed, part 3

09 Thursday Jan 2014

Posted by in Growing Pains, Inspirational Thoughts, My Journey

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photo copy 3Week two of my “punishment”

Like I said in my last post, the Principal of my Christian school assigned a scripture a week as punishment for my crime of bringing weed to my Christian School. He would pray and seek God’s guidance on which verse to pick. Every one he chose for me had something to do with where I needed to change or grow. I had to study it, apply the truths to my life and share with my classmates that truth. It had to be 150 words minimum. In the beginning I counted every word, but after a while, the scriptures started to come alive on the inside of me! This so called punishment was changing my life, one day at a time.

The second week’s scripture was this one:

Ephesians 4:29 (NLV)  ”Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”

I had a pretty foul mouth back then, at 14. My heart was changing but the outside was a process-and still is, because we never stop growing. I was brand new in my spirit, but the soul, which is my mind, emotions, and my will had some growing to do. Who would have ever thought that my punishment was going to be something that would shape my future and get me into the bible? It was starting to feel like God’s love letter to me! My classmates were a little confused about what this was all about. What was a punishment for me was actually changing me.

When I presented this to my class I had to start lining up with what I was saying. I started to choose my words more carefully. I became more conscious that my words could really help people. Imagine if we had a gong or a buzzer, like the game shows on TV that sounds when you give the wrong answer? The Holy Spirit, who comes when we accept Jesus lives inside of a believer, is there for just that! To direct us in all we do and say. Something wonderful began to happen. I started looking forward to the next scripture because the exercise of studying them was like being given a powerful flash light to help me get out of the dark place I had gotten myself into. One week at a time, one day at a time.

God doesn’t want us to be robots. He created us all different and unique. The more we walk with Him and talk with him, the more light we have to do this thing called life.

Thanks for reading along, and for going with me on this journey back in time. It only gets better from here. To think that I was so close to being sent off to reform school, which is basically school in jail for troubled kids. But someone had mercy on me and gave me another chance.

Let’s not be so quick to write people off. You never know what a little grace can do in someone’s life.

I’ll share one more “punishment” tomorrow and wrap up the story.  If you ever wanted to quit smoking, or know someone who does, this story will be for you!

http//janalackey.com/2014/01/08/the-day-my-life-changed-part-2/

Day 9-my500words http://goinswriter.com/my500words/

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The Day My Life Changed, Part 2

08 Wednesday Jan 2014

Posted by in Growing Pains, Inspirational Thoughts, My Journey

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A few days were spent in utter suspense, awaiting the school board’s decision-to kick me out for good or not.  To my mother’s great relief, and mine, the vote of the school board was in my favor to give me ONE LAST CHANCE.

The sentence, punishment, was nothing short of brilliant. Mr. Grimes, Pioneer Principal of our school, called me in to his office to tell me what needed to happen if I was to stay at the Christian School where I was caught with Marijuana.

My assignment was as follows. Mr. Grimes, would assign a bible verse to me each week. On Wednesday of that week, 30 minutes before the lunch break, I was to present a written speech to my classmates on the scripture and how it applies to our lives.  It had to be at least 150 words and I had to read it during our class devotions. Now they would all see if this was for real or not!

I had such a radical conversion that all my friends who I hung out with and got in trouble with didn’t want me because of my newfound faith. The church kids, at first, didn’t want anything to do with me because I was such a troublemaker! I was the talk of the town and bets were probably out on the outcome of this wild child.

During this time in my life, I had a pretty bad self-image. My hair was long and I tried to cover as much of my face as I could with it. I wore heavy makeup and lots of jewelry. I guess you could say I was hiding behind it all. Don’t get me wrong. I thank God for makeup! Like our Pastor, John Osteen used to say, “if the barn needs paining, paint it!” But I was a 14-year-old girl and I needed more than paint to fix what was broken inside. Change doesn’t happen overnight. The miracle of Salvation is that the inside is brand new! But the outside can take a bit of time to catch up! I still smoked, had a bad habit of cursing and overall needed some work!

The words of the bible are transformational when ingested by the whole person: spirit, soul and body. My first assignment was on the subject of women:

1 Peter 3:3,4 (kjv)“ Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”

Busted! How was I going to continue to look like I did and talk to my classmates about this scripture and how it applies to our lives? No one likes a hypocrite. I didn’t want to be one!

ImageSomething really cool about that verse is not that you can’t wear clothes and fix your hair and wear jewelry. It is saying to focus on the inside person. When I gave my life over to the Lord, to let him be in the driver’s seat of my life, it was like I was driving a dirty ‘ol dump truck full of dirt and baggage at the back, driving down the road of life. When I saw a man on the side of the road waving at me to stop. He asked if he could take over the wheel now. When I looked in his eyes, I knew I could trust him. I slid over to the passenger seat and the first thing he did was press a button and the back raised up and all the dirt slid out. He pushed another button and the whole truck became sparkling clean and new! He put in in gear and we started off. Along the way, I noticed things getting put in the back, these were gifts he had given me and people, and provision for the road ahead.

Even my personality started to be transformed. People didn’t even recognize me after a while. The scripture above says to have a “meek and quiet spirit”. It didn’t say I had to have a meek and quiet PERSONALITY! God didn’t ask me to be a robot. I get to be me!

I was in a whole new world. The passenger of the truck (me), has tried to take over the wheel at times and say, “hey, let’s go this way-my way.” The results were not always good on that one. I came to know and understand that if I follow the Lord close, my dreams, desires, gifts and all, will be discovered and developed along the way.Image

Little by little, every day, Jesus is changing me! The next 2 weeks of my assignment were crazy! You won’t believe it. I’ll tell you more tomorrow on day 9 of

 

 

http://goinswriter.com/my500words/ challenge.

Thanks for following my challenge-Today is Day 8