Category Archives: The Early Days

What Is The meaning Of Life?

23 Thursday Oct 2014

Posted by in Growing Pains, Life in Africa, Our Family, The Call

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meaningoflifeI asked this question on my Facebook wall this week and had some great and, yet some predictable answers from Christians. My other friends were mostly quiet, other than a joke or two. I guess I was asking myself that question, not wanting to be predictable. When circumstances in life become overwhelming and you have to just keep going, but eventually, this question seems to surface in some way or another.

Life is so much more than yesterday. Tomorrow has not yet come. What I have is now. I am thankful for all my yesterdays because without them, I wouldn’t be what I am today. The losses and gains of yesterday- all make this moment possible.

And in this moment, I feel profound loneliness. Living so far from my family al these years in Africa, has created a chasm greater and longer than I could have imagined. It is a longing that has never left me. Yet, I have been given the riches of the most special kind of life, family, and of friendship. People have reached out to us. in times of crisis, in times of joy, and in times of just living life. Families are complex things. Does anyone ever really have their expectations met through family members?  From Generations before and those to follow, unwanted records are kept of our inconstancies and failures. Heart wounds sometimes never heal and are most raw when felt by a close loved one. To me, it has been part of the “calling”, to leave all and follow where God leads. We did that, but there has been a price, a price we were willing to make. The cost has been great, not only to me, but to my mother, father, sister and brother. Not to mention, the multitude of extended relatives I hold dear, including a 97 year old grandma in Texas! I love them and I miss them a lot of the time. I long for that phone call for no reason, that quick “pop-in” surprise visit.

As a Christian, I also have a family that surpasses my own genetic connections, though treasured and loved. I also have people in my life that don’t believe like me, but they have been there for me and their hearts are good. Better sometimes than those who carry the title of Christian. Of course, I want all my friends to know God like I know Him, feel His love like I have. To really know what it is to have a purpose in this life that outlives us.

If I figure it out, I will sure let you know! As I write, my house is quiet. It has turned into another day by the clock striking 12. Besides the noise of the Eland walking around the fence, the hippo grunting as he grazes in the grass nearby, and the sound of the jet’s night flight overhead on its way to Joburg, and the humming of my fan that I need to lull me to sleep, I know this one thing. I may feel lonely, but I am not alone. I may miss my loved ones, but they are still my loved ones. I may not know the direction my 4 children will take, but I do know that they have an imperfect family, but they have a family that loves them and is there for them in their parents. I would move heaven and earth to be there for my kids. They will never be able to say otherwise. As my boys once watched Anne of Green Gables and saw the fiery red-headed Meagan Follows in a rage for her cause and her mistakes, they all looked at each other and said, “Oh my gosh, that’s our mom!” Between being called Scarlet O’Hara for my fiery temper and Lucille Ball for the messes I find myself in, I think at one point, I might need some help! Well, I have received lots of it from lots of people through the years. In the lonely times, I just have to remember those are the very people who were there for me. Family, friends, acquaintances and perfect strangers. Through a house fire, stage 4 cancer in my husband, kids’ crises time and again, I have never been alone. God is so real, so present and you know what? He has loved me and been there for me-through-you, the people in my life. He wraps His great arms of love around me when I need it most, through a smile, a hug, a special note.

8dc32804-3e4e-4da4-a7dd-ff45d8e9689dI am grateful for you. Grateful for the kindness expressed through each “like”, each comment, each thought. Perhaps I have scratched the surface as the clock strikes 12 in the darkness of my room. I don’t feel so alone now. Life without others in it, is no life at all. Go and find someone today who you can touch with whatever you find yourself able to give. I promise you, it not only feels good, it feels great! It abolishes loneliness and ushers in a connection with another human being and even, God. He is so creative to love us through others. Be that other today. And after you do-come back and share it with me, will you? People need to know how to do it-its simple-so DO IT!

*Photos from Photobucket

Hippos and Sippy Cups (3) Daughter…In Love And In Law

07 Tuesday Oct 2014

Posted by in Life in Africa, Mother-In-Law, Our Family, The Early Days

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001264-hippo-cartoon-comic-funny-silly-wacky-breadwig.com_We established a mission base that, for a while, looked like it was going to be our permanent home for Love Botswana Outreach Mission Trust. We built a camp where outreach teams came to learn and serve in the north of Botswana. When we had teams in, I did the cooking over the Big, black, cast iron pots over the open fire while Grandma Pat helped take care of the 2 very active Remick and Jordan Lackey.  There was a period of time when we had a terrible drought in the country. (1996/97) The thick dust from no rain, the intense heat, and the stench of death were all around. The last pool of water from the Okavango Delta was right in front of our house. There were animals of all kinds that came from afar to get a drink of the life giving water. Sometimes they would get stuck in the mud and be left to die. There were hippos in the pool as well. Thirty- Two to be exact. At night, these huge creatures who were starving to death, would crash down our barbed wire fences that separated us from the river, and make their way onto the property to eat what was left of our fruit trees outside our bedroom window.

One night, Pat heard a sound that got her out of bed. She pressed her nose against the long narrow window to see what the noise was. To her surprise there was a hippo staring right back at her through the window. Indignant, as only Miss Pat can be- she pointed her finger and firmly whispered, as not to wake the rest of us and said, “Shoo! You get on out of here, do you hear me? Shoo!” And with that, the hippo turned and walked away in silent obedience. But that’s just the kind of spunk she has!

imagesGrandma Pat was especially helpful when it came time to wean the nursing grandbabies. She and Jerry would take turns consoling the blood curdling screams of the uncooperative little ones while mommy (me) was in there other room crying in agony and pain from my side of the weaning! They would take the “sippy cup” with a spout and handles, filled with milk or juice, put the toddler in the stroller, fasten the seat belt and take off on a walk around the property. The further they walked, the fainter the screams became, at least to me, in the house. On their side, the kid would take a few sips from the sippy cup (imported from America, I might add), and throw it with all his might onto the sandy ground! A statement was made, and all of my (3 breastfed boys) made it very clear that they wanted no part of that plastic gadget!

Eventually peace would come. And the child was weaned. Remick was the first to give up his sippy cup at the age of 3. He, together with a young man we brought to the states with us on a trip, went to the edge of the dock in Galveston, Texas and threw the cup into the ocean, never to be seen again. At least until he realized what he had done. The tears didn’t stop till we ended up getting another one at Walmart to calm him down! You have to choose your battles, you know?

To be continued….

*hippo photo compliments of breadwig.com

Luau’s and Hyenas! (2) Daughter…In Law and In Love

06 Monday Oct 2014

Posted by in Marriage, Mother-In-Law, Our Family, The Early Days

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?????????????????????????The next time I saw my future mother in law was at our rehearsal dinner the night before our wedding. It was a Hawaiian Luau. We got married, put our wedding gifts in storage and drove our old white Mercedes Benz pulling a trailer to Southern California where we were to live for 3 months in an apartment attached to a home of a couple who had 5 children, all under the age of 9. We were working with them to raise our funds to go to Africa. Turns out, the apartment ended up being a room just off the kitchen, and to top it off there was no lock on the door! For a newlywed couple, with curious toddlers around, it was more than a little awkward! The highlights were a deepened friendship with the host family, watching the nearby Disney World fireworks every night on the front lawn and long walks on the beach.

After that, we took our wheels and moved to Denver, Colorado where we were to settle into a charming apartment (just the 2 of us!) and spend 3 months on our next project to get us closer to the African Continent. We had no sooner gotten settled in and got to work, when we received a call from Kentucky. Pat had gone through a personal crisis and needed to get away and make a new start. When Jerry’s dad had left in his teens, it was pretty much just he and his mom. They had to sell the family civil war farmhouse and move into town. She was a kindergarten teacher at the time and Jerry was still in High School. In some ways, he helped take care of her during that difficult time. Once again, she needed him. I was the first to say, “sure, come on over!”  So she did. She came with her bags and we moved her into the other bedroom of the apartment. It was right across from ours. What I didn’t know is that she never closed her bedroom door because of being locked in the basement as a child. You see, her mother died when she was very young and her sister, 20 years older than her took her and raised her. When her sister got married, Pat was subjected to some pretty cruel practices, such as being locked in the basement when she was naughty. She was a ring-tail-tooter with a vivid imagination, but no one deserved that, and it did have its effects on her.

Something I didn’t anticipate was having my mother-in-law across the hall with this very shy, newlywed wife within earshot of our bedroom! What was worse? The toddlers or this? She was easy to get along with, and I think we all just had a special “grace” to live together like that. It was just a matter of time till we ended up in Houston for our last event. We managed to get her into an apartment and a job as Principal for a church where I was formerly a Youth Pastor.  They were starting a Christian School and I introduced them to Pat and she successfully grew their school over the next few years.

After our first few years in Africa, I had a growing desire to start our own Christian School in the Village of Maun, Botswana, where we had settled. I wanted something that would remain after us and it was, after all, at a Christian School where my life was changed and my life purpose discovered. Who better than “Miss Pat” to come and be our founding Principal, or Headmistress as referred to in Africa. The school in Houston was doing well and so during our next stateside visit, we asked her if she would be willing to move to Africa with us and help us start our school. Her response was that she would pray about it. It took some time for her to decide. She didn’t want to do it just because we were there. It had to be a word from God to her to do this next assignment. Not long after, we went to a church near Galveston, Texas. Just before the service ended, a Pastor named Rusty Martin got up, not knowing anything about our school or her plans. He said that he felt the Lord was speaking to him that (Pat), out of the hundreds of people who were there, was in conflict about a decision to go to the mission field in Africa. He said, “The Lord says to tell you that He is asking you to go, and it is not because of your children, but because of my heart for the many children that will one day, call  you a “Mother” on the continent.”

She packed her bags and came over with me shortly after our second son, Jordan, was born in 1991. We started the school together in January of 1992. Pat lived in our small house with us until we fixed up a cute thatched rondovel for her on the property we rented. She put all her energy, expertise and efforts into the school we named, Ngamiland Christian Academy. The school was in its second year, located in the London Mission Society house that was owned by the UCCSA church of Botswana. It was a historical building in which Jerry’s office was housed. Originally, it was the office of Robert Moffit, where the bible was translated into Setswana, giving Africa its first bible in an African language. Those early years were filled with joy and growth! And to have a grandma nearby for our two boys was a bonus!

She was the kind of Grandma that would go on long walks with the kids, pick up bugs and look at things through the kids’ plastic detective magnifying glasses and experience the wonder of the great African outdoors together. I had friends that would ask me what it was like having your “mother in law” always around and so close. Really, it was great. She helped me so much with the kids and never interfered with the way I did things. I was (am) a good cook, and she would watch the kids while I did the cooking and always helped with clean up afterwards. I rarely felt my space encroached upon and we generally got on very well. Life with Toddlers is very busy as well as building a ministry from the ground up. She and I were at the helm of the school while Jerry was busy with outreaches to even more remote areas than our own village of Maun.hyenas-laugh-2

On school holidays we went on outreaches together, sleeping in tents and cooking over the open fire. We had recently bought a new tent that had a divider in it and went out on one such trip. Pat slept on the one side with Remick, our firstborn son, while Jerry and I slept on the other side. I had the baby nicely tucked against the side of the tent and held him close as he was still nursing. I had a sudden urge to move Jordan, and out of that instinct, I moved him in between me and Jerry when all of a sudden, I heard a crash outside the tent! A crack in the zipper revealed a pack of Hyena’s that had made their way into our camp site and were rummaging for our leftover food right outside!

There are many, many stories I could tell about unusual times together. On that same safari, we were snugly tucked in when we heard a loud cracking sound, then the buzz of voices. When we looked out the tent, we saw an elephant straddling a small pup tent that contained two frenchmen who were no doubt, terrified at the thought of what was overhead! While the elephant dug his long ivory tusks into the side of the pulpy baobab tree and shook its fruit with his long nose, they hung on for dear life, all the while wondering if, at any moment they would be crushed. But alas, the friendly mammal was just looking for a midnight snack. In the morning, the two frenchmen left that site with a story to tell for the rest of their lives!

……..to be continued!

The Road, The Hair, And A Place Called There- Africa at Last!

29 Friday Jun 2012

Posted by in Life in Africa, Marriage, The Call

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While we were in Southern Africa we did many things. We served missionaries, helping them in their various works, taught in Bible schools, spoke in churches, went into Soweto, where the news was still fresh of tire necklace burning in the battle against apartheid in South Africa. We were offered churches to pastor, bible schools to teach in, many opportunities came our way. But we took a trip to Botswana with a seasoned missionary named Charles Haupt. He was to do a trip to check on his work in the Northern Part of Botswana. During our trip to Botswana, our time was filled with a lot of driving over vast expanses of land. The roads were rough, sandy, and like winter in the desert, the weather was freezing cold. We traveled by day and sat around the fire by night listening to the sounds of the African night. We heard the lions roaring, saw hippos and elephants grazing and awoke in the morning to the magnificent African sunrise.

Until, at last, we reached the beautiful people who live in the remote areas of Northwest Botswana. As we arrived at our first destination we saw such an eagerness to receive us as their special guests. Together with Charles we shared the good news, gave out clothing and shared bright oranges with the kids. Each child lined up one by one, stretching out both hands to receive it as a sign of respect. They respectfully waited, sitting in small circles until all the children were served. They waited for the nod from the Chief and tore into them and ate the whole thing, skin and all! At that point, I looked over at Jerry and he was crying. I was also touched but I could see, for him, there was something more. He had seen something years before, even in his rebellion and time away from God. He saw a vision of himself in this very place with these very people. He knew at that moment that this was where God wanted us to be. I had a call to Southern Africa, but I married a man that had specifically prayed a dangerous prayer, “God, send me where no one else is willing to go, where it’s not popular or glamorous.” So he sent us to the edge of the desert, the mouth of the Okavango Delta in the remote village of Maun, Botswana. The rest of that journey was nothing but solid “knowing” that we wanted to work in this region. The rest of our time in Africa was great, but nothing compared to our experience in Botswana. It shined like a diamond above all else. Our Pastor, John Osteen had a book written from a sermon he preached on “A Place Called There”. It’s about when you know that you know you are in the right place at the right time with a destiny to fulfill. And at that place, God will provide all you need!

I have included an excerpt from his book at this link: http://www.cfaith.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=2029:a-place-called-there&catid=57:destiny&Itemid=91

His son, Pastor Joel Osteen has now put out a new book out about the Legacy of our father in the faith, John Osteen at http://www.joelosteen.com/pages/store-product.aspx?pid=b949ef8c-d588-e111-a97a-005056810023

The Couple Pt 7

27 Wednesday Jun 2012

Posted by in Life in Africa, Marriage, The Early Days

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As we packed up and prepared to leave for Texas, to try it again, we ran into one of my favorite Professors from Christ For the Nations, named Dr. David Kast. He is from South Africa but was a pastor on staff at Charles Blair’s church in Denver. We had lunch together and Jerry and I eagerly shared our great plans with him about how we were going to “help God” and raise our own money for our trip and work in Africa. I will never forget the all-knowing look he gave us that day when he leaned in close, cupped his hands and said, “God really appreciates your help, he really does, but here is how it works: People NEED to give into your ministry. As much as you need to go, people need to give into the work that you are called to do. It is a principle that cannot be overlooked.” I like to tell the churches and partners where we go to share updates that we get to do the fun part, and “go”. Money comes from hard work, sweat and commitment. When people give sacrificially (which is the way most givers give) it represents their very lives through their giving. In the end, we all share in the same reward!

We left that day with a different perspective and realized that perhaps we were going about things the wrong way. We had to humble ourselves and be open to the way God wanted it to happen. Veteran Missionary statesman, Wayne Meyers says, “Some must go, because the call of God compels them to go and they cannot stay behind. Some must help go, since they have the resources means to send help. Lastly, some must let go, of children, of parents and friends who must go.”

It was about that time that we got a phone call from a friend, Dawn Stallings and she wanted to help us get “incorporated” to become a 501c-3, a non-profit organization that would enable people to give into the work and get a tax deduction, an incentive for Americans that is a benefit to those who would rather give to an NGO rather that it all going to “Uncle Sam” for taxes.

 

We told Dawn that we felt that was a bit premature, since we had our own plans, but our lunch with Dr. Kast came shortly after that phone call and he advised us to go for it as it would be necessary if people were going to help. So, we formed our little board and organization and went from there to Texas. During our time in Texas for a Houston Expo, we started getting letters out to our friends and family about our plans to head for Africa.

We went to see Brother Bill Deerman who is in heaven now. At that time, he was the missions Pastor at Lakewood Church. We told him of our plans and asked for direction. He said, “Africa is a big place and there is a lot you could do.” He went on to advise us to take a trip over to “spy out the land” and serve wherever we could. So we planned a 3 month trip, set our date, and started praying the money in to go!

Now that we are in missions for so many years, we tell people, “Don’t be surprised who will support you and don’t be surprised who won’t.” As we began to plan, things began to fall into place. YWAM needed a group leader to take a group of teens over to the YWAM “Go Festival” in Durban, South Africa. It happened to coincide with our dates, so we accepted the task. When it came time to leave for Africa, we had just enough money to get over there and a little for food and expenses once we arrived. Beyond that, we hoped that people would make good on their commitments to support us while we were away and we set off.